Tag Archive | today in the news

Another Woman’s Story from a College Newspaper: ‘Stop Catcalling’

http://www.the-standard.org/opinion/stop-catcalling/article_83bc96a4-1351-11e7-b633-5bb71f5ec316.html

The Standard, March 28, 2017

Stop catcalling

 Before coming to the United States, I had never experienced catcalls. When I first came to this country in August, I did not know this form of harassment existed until I went grocery shopping with my Chinese friends at an Asian market.  We were crossing the street, waiting for the lights to turn. All of a sudden, a guy rolled down his window and began to shout at us. More guys did the same thing afterward in just five minutes.  In that moment, all I wanted to do was get on the next plane home away from the insults. Feeling frightened by the rudeness, I was depressed and shameful because I regarded the gestures as unwelcoming messages to Asians. I have seen repeatedly in the news that discrimination toward Asians can happen in restaurants, schools and stations. I thought these men’s yells were part of that discrimination.

The same thing happened multiple times to my friends and I when we were walking on an empty street and on campus at night. I shared this story with my female American friends, hoping they would help me figure out the reason and come up with a solution. They told me this way of harassment is not aimed at Asians, ,but women. They think that it’s normal and when it happens, they endure it.

“Chilling out” over the catcalling situation does not work for me. My parents trained me to be a strong and fierce woman warrior, full of bravery and justice, so I decided shouting back at the catcallers was a way of self-defense.It should not come as a surprise that I chickened out of shouting at the catcallers because I found myself incredibly terrified of the consequences that could come with my response. What if they stopped the car and started to hit or rape me? What if they just grabbed a gun and shot me from a distance?

I remember finishing a day-long project and wanting to buy some groceries to rest my brain, but I soon realized that all the horrifying feelings of being catcalled and shouted at would reoccur. I lost the interest in shopping that day, and my only choice was to go home as soon as possible. When my parents called to check to see how I was, I squeezed a smile and told them everything was fine. Having them worried about me is the last thing I wanted to do.

My parents trusted America’s decency and grace, so they sent their beloved daughter to this great country. Sadly, some parts of this country went wrong.It’s 2017 now. Women shouldn’t have to put up with the rage they feel when they feel harassed. Stop street harassment.

Ebony Magazine Article: Fellas, Street Harassment is Never the Way to Hit on Women: March 28, 2017

Before I post the article, I would just like to note that for years women have been saying they are tired of nasty n*#@!s jumping in their faces. I can say as a covered Sunni Muslim Black American woman that each time a black male does this I pray for God’s wrath to descend upon you for your blatant disrespect of His creation. Your dissociative mental disorder has erroneously convinced you because someone may have the same color spectrum as you that equals they are property to be snatched.  I find Black “Christian” males today totally gross, mentally ill, nasty and sick in the head. Everyone knows that in general a covered Sunni Muslim woman will not give a black “Christian” male an opportunity to wiggle their sinister selves into their life–. So you continue to mock both your alleged beliefs and that of your target. Then you wonder why certain black communities aren’t ‘blessed’ with progress. You retard it. No one wants to help people who are blatant criminals and do not even respect women and children who are minding their business.  Women have said it disrupts their day, places them in fear for their life (rightfully so, as some black women are killed for rejecting black male STRANGERS), even other laymen have warned you, the only thing is left is a ramp up in enforcing the law against you–because you surely believe you are above it.  Anyway, here’s the article and by the way it’s true–it’s black males who do this, so when  you wind up in jail; you have received your just desserts.

It is evident, today’s black males are the problem.


http://www.ebony.com/love-sex/relationships-cat-calling-dating#axzz4cdaAEWs7

Fellas, Street Harassment is Never the Way to Hit on Women

[Opinion] Instead of yelling at her from afar, perhaps you should attend events that women interested in men go to

by Lincoln Anthony Blades, March 28, 2017  

Recently, while browsing through my Twitter timeline, I came across a raw, heartfelt and insightful thread from @PiaGlenn that very plainly described everything wrong with street harassment, while simultaneously debunking the BS ideology that approaching women in the street leads mostly to fun and enjoyable interactions.

Hey fam, I’ve just had a #YouOKSis moment that I’m choosing to share

(Fair warning: it’s not pleasant)

— @PiaGlenn (@PiaGlenn) March 18, 2017

As a man, reading that sent me through a world of emotions. Shame, disgust, anger, rage and sadness all coursed through my soul. After the spectrum of emotions came a sense of exhaustion. Although I didn’t know anything about this woman or her followers, I could already guess what her mentions looked like, consisting of dudes talkin’ about, “So just because you had one bad experience…,””Not all men…,” and “If we don’t harass y’all in the street, how the HELL we supposed to meet?!”

I didn’t even bother to read the comments on her viral post and I was already tired of the excuses men would use to attempt to justify our horrific, abusive behavior because I’ve heard it all before. 

I have literally lost count of the amount of times I’ve heard dudes attempt to elucidate the necessity of bothering random women “on road.” But there’s a point that Pia touched on that is very similar to the retort I’ve been hitting these dudes with for the past decade: we don’t give a DAMN about maintaining the integrity of informal, random encounters that can potentially lead to long-lasting relationships, engagements, marriages and children.

You want to say whatever you want to whoever you want and you’re *entitled* to a positive response, aren’t you, big fella?

— @PiaGlenn (@PiaGlenn) March 18, 2017

If the pro-street-harassment crowd of men were so damn interested in meeting women, we would spend far less time doing stupid sh*t like whispering, “Pssst, yo blue dress, lemme holla at you” which has an inherently low success rate. We would do things more apt to meeting women like actually attending events that women go to where many are either trying to meet men, or are at least open to the idea of being approached by a man.

Personally, I’ve been writing about sex and relationships for 7 years, I’ve been a frequent guest of many different relationship panel events for 6 years and I’ve been throwing my own events (relationship conversation parties, as well as grown games nights) for the past 5 years. Whenever I was booked to speak at events, the crowd would be full of women interested in meeting men. Whenever I threw my own events, the crowd would be damn near full of women looking for good dudes. It got to the point where I had to organize a local thinktank just to find ways to convince men to come out and meet these groups of single, successful, gorgeous women.

Whenever I brought that point up to men, telling them that it’s absolutely insane that they’re defending street harassment at a time when women are actually open to being approached, they would tell me about how unapproachable women are at events and how desperate they are. The problems persist everywhere from Oakland to New York to Toronto. Whether it’s speed dating, a games night, dance workout class, etc., women came out in droves and dudes were almost nowhere to be found – until the event let out.

Frowsy dudes would swarm on the women trying to walk back to their cars. These days, the only place men far outnumber women in attendance is dank, musty, nightclubs.

I’ve never understood the point of harassing women in the street, honking at women who pass by, or trying to chat women up in the passenger side of my best friend’s ride. It all seems pointless and embarrassing to me. That’s not to say that I haven’t seen it work, because anyone who has ever been to a Caribana or the Labor Day parade has seen guys stand in the middle of the road and shoot successful long-range shots and hit nothing but net. But when the majority of our sisters are saying that street harassment is nothing more than a scary annoyance, it’s time for us men to shut the hell up and listen.