Tag Archive | get out my face

Interesting Post: Street Harassment Stops When Men Say it Stops

http://nicoleclarkconsulting.com/street-harassment-stop-when-men-say-it-stops/

Here is the text of her post:

The SlutWalk movement has taken over the world (or at least many major cities such as New York City, Toronto, Denver, and even in Delhi, India) and many believe that it has become one of the most successful feminist actions in the last 20 years. For those of you that haven’t heard of the movement, the first SlutWalk happened in April 2011 in Toronto, Canada after Canadian Constable Michael Sanguinetti, during a January 2011 York University campus safety forum stated that in order for women to be more safe, they should “avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”

For many women of color (myself included) the term “slut” doesn’t really conjure up the same type of emotions as perhaps “bitch” or “hoe”, but regardless of whatever term is used, the premise is still the same: we are living in a society that tells women that not only are we the weaker sex, but that we are responsible for making sure that men don’t attack, assault, harass, stalk or rape us. That’s a pretty tall order.

SlutWalk may be the “it” thing right now, but there has been an anti-street harassment movement brewing over the last several years. From The Line Campaign to Hollaback!, women are proclaiming that it’s time for men to really take a step back and realize the behaviors that they and their peers are participating in. Yet the sad thing about it is that women shouldn’t even be the ones leading this effort. How many women do you know stand on corners and stare at and try to speak to every man that walks by? How many women do you know will tell a man that if he weren’t outside at a certain time of night/weren’t wearing certain types of clothing/weren’t drunk/weren’t trying to flirt that it’s his fault for whatever happens to him? No, I don’t think it’s women’s responsibility to tell men that this type of behavior is inappropriate. No, I don’t think that women should live in fear or in annoyance when they see a group of men standing on the corner. And no, I don’t think women should be the main ones marching by the thousands to tell men just how ridiculous their logic is for thinking that a woman deserves to be sexually assaulted or called out her name due to what she’s wearing or how she turns down a man’s advances. Street harassment and all violence against women will stop once men decide to stand up and declare that it stops.

*Where is my soap box?*

I first experienced street harassment during my freshman year of college. My friends and I would walk to the train station or to the grocery store. We would hear voices from strangers that we would pass on the sidewalk, or we’d hear voices from cars that have suddenly slowed their pace. I remember us ignoring the voices mostly, but when it got to the point where these voices would begin following us, we all would be uncomfortable. And oftentimes the silent stares were more uncomfortable than the comments. Even in the warmer months I would try to get away with wearing tops with long sleeves or carry my school bag in a way that would hide my buttocks. At that time, I didn’t know that the term “street harassment” even existed. I just knew the feeling I had, and it wasn’t good. I used to hate walking to the nearby shopping area or the train station out of fear of someone speaking to me inappropriately. Yet, as I went through college I went from feeling embarrassed to feeling apathetic. I once thought that this problem was only within the confines of the surrounding area of my campus, but obviously I was wrong. I’m nearing age 30, and at times I still resort to these “prevention methods”, and have now graduated to wearing earbuds to blast music and drown out the catcalls.

Street harassment comes in a variety of forms: catcalling, groping, sexually explicit comments, someone honking their horn at you as you walk down the street (and it’s not to ask for directions), grabbing your arm with no indication that you even wanted to be touched, whistling, someone telling you what they would do to you sexually if you were alone, and even someone leaning into you and saying “hello beautiful” as you walk down by (because it is, in fact, getting into your personal space.)

Many women and girls are harassed daily, and many feel helpless to stop it. In an attempt to prevent street harassment from happening, we begin to limit the amount of time we spend outside or we make sure that we’re not out at certain times of night. We begin to wear baggy or unflattering clothing. But these acts don’t deter individuals from harassing us. Street harassment can lead to violence, and it doesn’t matter what race or ethnicity you are. Many of us do not do anything about street harassment because we’re afraid that we’ll be placed in harm’s way. And that’s the rub. You never know how a man is going to react once you make the decision to put him in his place. Which it why I understand the purpose of movements like SlutWalk. Thousands of women (and many male supporters) coming together to let these men know that this type of behavior will not be tolerated anymore seems more powerful and doesn’t really place a woman in harm’s way compared to going at it alone.

Now that we know what street harassment is, let’s discuss what street harassment prevention is not:

Street harassment prevention is not about women taking self defense classes. My college’s public safety department held a self-defense class during freshman orientation week, and after the class we received a whistle. The whistle was for using against someone if we felt that we were unsafe. The students on my campus were the only ones with these whistles, and I never knew of any student who actually used their whistle. On top of that, the whistles were a joke throughout the university center. This isn’t to demean the purpose of taking self-defense classes because there are people who feel that they are necessary. However, instead of bringing women in to take self defense classes and have mace and whistles at our disposal, perhaps we should create more programs that help men to recognize street harassment and to find ways to help change their behaviors.

Street harassment prevention is not about letting men duck responsibility. The “boys will be boys” mentality has to stop. By not speaking out about street harassment (in whichever way you choose) we’re telling men that they aren’t responsible for their actions and aren’t capable of controlling themselves. If I were a man, I would be very offended by this. And if you watch this video about boys being microwaves and girls being crockpots, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

Street harassment prevention is not about women solely being responsible for speaking up. A man who watches his friend street harass someone and doesn’t say anything is no different from the actual harasser. I’ve seen plenty of incidences where a group of men would stand idly by with blank expressions on their faces while one of them disrespects a woman passing by. I’ve heard men say that they’ve been afraid to say anything, even though they know it’s wrong. Would these same men be afraid to speak up if the woman being harassed was their mother or sister? If a man feels afraid to speak up for what he knows is right (i.e., telling his friend that he needs to check his behavior), that says a lot about the type of person a man chooses to surround himself with…and it says a lot about him. This actually makes me feel sorry for younger men who participate in street harassment. Along with the media’s influence, where else are they learning this behavior? Who else? Their older counterparts.

Street harassment prevention is not about what a woman is wearing. If it were really about clothing, women in the Middle East who are walking around completely covered up in broad daylight wouldn’t be getting assaulted or harassed.

Street harassment is deeply ingrained in communities of color, which is why many don’t see it as a problem. Street harassment will continue to prevail until men stand up and decide that this behavior needs to stop. We need to teach young men how to treat a woman with respect. We need to teach young men that what they’re listening to, reading, and watching on television may not be how a woman expects to be treated. We need to teach young men that it’s OK to tell their older counterparts that how they behave towards women is unacceptable. Street harassment will continue to also prevail because, unfortunately, there are women who respond to it. Along with men standing up and taking responsibility, we need to teach ourselves and our young women that we are more than just entities that should be hollered at on the street. We need to teach young women that it should require a little more creativity for a man to get our attention. And honking a car horn shouldn’t be one of them.

Street harassment, physical violence, and sexual violence against women won’t stop because we as women want it to stop. It stops when men decide that it stops.

*hops off soapbox*

END OF HER POST


My reminder: Like I said 98% of street harassers are black males, the first step in solving a problem is admitting that there is one. In the State of Maryland, Black “Christian” males are the problem. They are domestic terrorists in more ways than one and the Black woman is the proverbial and literal carnage.

 

Three Characteristics of Black Male Street Harassers

In the State of Maryland, especially in counties such as Howard, Prince George’s Anne Arundel and Baltimore County (and of course Baltimore City) there are three distinguishable traits that any decent woman can discern from the typical black male street harasser.  They are quite reminiscent of what normal functioning, intelligent children are taught and grasp the concept of basic respect of human beings who may cross their paths in normal everyday settings.

1) The black male street harassers a/k/a apes in heat have nothing “nice” or proper to say to their intended targets. [If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all].  They are flustered and frustrated and because of the lack of intelligence they are dumbfounded as to why a decent woman not only rejects their inappropriate (and criminal) behavior but is simply disgusted and repelled by it as well.  No worries, the black male street harasser will pursue his own form of self therapy by designating decent women who reject them as “crazy,” “stuck up,” and “she ain’t right.” Yes, to these social vultures a decent woman who demands to be treated with respect and not have unattractive, disrespectful, ghetto black boys further disrupt her personal space or her day is dismissively deemed by them is not right. PSA to black male street harassers: You are not right! You disrespect religious women, decent women (regardless of belief system) and women who mind their business.  You cannot handle rejection because you are constantly coddled by your Black “Christian’ mother who sees you as either her free ride ticket ala welfare or her mate replacement due to single motherhood.

Therefore, your only line of attack is to insult, in the more ways than one. You see putting your hands on a TOTAL STRANGER is beyond an insult, it is criminal. Verbally abusing a woman because she has ABSOLUTELY no interest in your kind is an insult. The world does not revolve around you. Decent women of color should not have to tolerate your abuse, sexual harassment and sexual assault just because you think “she’s cute.” You are disgusting and reptilian and you deserve every form of disdain society has to offer.  Yet, you have the unintelligent and misinformed audacity to insult decent, innocent women who know better than to tolerate your ignorance, foolishness and crimes.   Get over yourself and stay out of our faces:  especially the ugly, dark-skinned, uneducated, uncivilized black males in Howard County and Prince George’s County, Maryland.  You are the reason white flight is rampant. Please also note that 98% today’s dark-skinned black male “Christians” who street harass.

2) They have an INABILITY to keep their hands to themselves.  [Keep your hands to yourself].  There are subtle, not so subtle and extreme behaviors on this criminal spectrum.  The first is to pretend to “brush” by their intended victims.  Yes, black males at Howard County Library on Cradlerock Road, Columbia, Maryland including the old black male librarian with the greying beard is guilty of this.  Of course they only do this to black female patrons.  They will also do this at grocery stores, box stores, restaurants, any place there is a female and a black male she will likely be a victim.  Of course there is the most obvious, trying to touch you:  standing too close behind you in the line as they prepare to “dry” rape you. Reaching out to GRAB a woman’s arm or hand while she uses a computer or walking on a public sidewalk.  The most obvious is the grope; this touching is distinguishable from the just mentioned one as this is geared towards a woman’s private parts (including that which lies below her décolletage).  Black males today (this is particularly acute among the dark-skinned ones) are generally black devils.  They are in a constant wicked mode of sniffing, plotting and trying to “slide up next to” a TOTAL stranger in order to street harass and rape his intended female target.  Black males in Maryland are naturally uncouthe, sinister, disrespectful, annoying, social rapists who try to play the victim card (as a black male) when in reality they are the criminals, the perpetrators and predators let loose on decent society where no woman is safe. Broad daylight, makes no difference, it just emboldens them as civil society remain in shock that they are allowed to roam the streets without repurcussion for their actions.  Make sure that there are consequences and file charges for EVERY offense these black predators do. Street harassment, sexual assault, verbal harassment, stalking, are all not only immnoral (of course they are not bound by a center of ethos) but it is ILLEGAL.  Make them pay until they can no longer be amongst civilized society.

3) Black “Christian” males in today’s Maryland like to buck their eyes and attempt to intimidate and make women feel uncomfortable when they are in your presence. [It’s not polite to stare]. There is a saying that the eyes are the window into one’s soul.  It is can be an intimate exchange or an invasive tactic.  The purpose of this black male tactic is to make a women feel vulnerable. These bug eyes dark skinned black males use your moment of feeling uncomfortable or intimidated as the prime opportunity to pounce on a woman’s natural fear of them.  Black males respect no women in Maryland, they may be hesitant towards white women only because white males will lynch them, but they still don’t respect them.  Women in the eyes of the majority of ugly, dark-skinned black males are the object to be abused, conquered and destroyed for their Satanic jollies and thumb about their hateful and disrespectful exploits on their technological devices.

It would be easy to say to simply ignore it, but this is today’s dark-skinned black males. They will literally jump in your face, get loud and speak to a total stranger with inappropriate familiarity in order to disrespect you because they hate themselves. Notice that these societal rejects and low brow Negroes RARERLY if ever do this to white women. Black males have no compunction about disrespecting Black women, doesn’t matter if you are Catholic, Baptist, a covered Muslim, black males hate that from which they came and believe that because of the mistaken coddling that their black mothers poorly indoctrinated into them, black woman who are total strangers owe the same to them. When you do not you will be erroneously and heartlessly accused of “thinking that you’re white” when all you are doing is being a decent woman.  Black male street harassers live their lives as low-life animals and realize that animals belong with animals and thus they are faced with the reality of their own lack of humanity.

Black man get out of my face, stop being disrespectful and most of all: Black man leave me alone.

Street harassed at TechWorld Post Office, Washington, D.C.

During the time I worked in Washington, D.C. I would sometimes use the Post Office located at the TechWorld Building in N.W., Washington, D.C..

A pattern emerged where Black male “Christian” security guard(s) would literally jump into my face and block my access to the descending escalator to the Post Office. These happened several times and they would snicker “Hi, how you doin?’

I would continue to walk and ignore them and noticed there were two Black male security guards, also in uniform seated at the desks near the main entry scan if you wre entering the main portion of the building. These onlookers in uniformed stared at me as if this was normal and that I was supposed to acquiesce to this unwanted behavior. Not one told their co workers to stop or to leave me alone. Nor did the perpetrators bother or hit on any of the white women who were on their way to work or otherwise passing by.

After my ignoring them did not have the effect I sought, I later contacted the Administration and was given information about the contracting business responsible for their hire. So, I ended up speaking to a supervisor who was ranked a sergeant and let him know how his subordinates were conducting themselves.

I said “They aren’t bothering any of those white women walking by. Here I am covered, a professional and they are calling out to me like that. If I was a white woman they wouldn’t be bothering me.” Granted, the sergeant listened and seemed to agree, he let me know he would handle it.

During the time period I was working in that area of D.C. and using that post office it did not happen again.

Black males in their capacity of employment of branded businesses, sexually street harass customers, by standers and co workers ALL the time. Do not wonder why businesses do not want to hire your licentious species.

A Lesson to Black Male Street Harassers

My unofficial title of an animated you tube video in which a Black woman has to talk to a Black man like the child he acts because he cannot force a woman to give him attention he desperately craves because of his insecurities, base desires and whims.

Like NaS said these Black males are in their “second childhood. Black males grow up and stop demanding from strangers what they are NOT obligated to provide or go to jail. There are two things that any normal 5 year old is taught in America:
1. If you do not have any thing nice to say don’t say anything at all AND
2. Keep your hands to yourself.

Black male street harassers operate on a level below what a child who is still going through normal brain development understands. And you actually wonder why people think you are savage and have no desire to be near let alone live amongst you. Guilty Black male harassers = Simply repulsive.

This was posted a few years ago and remain oh so relevant. Notice in the dialogue she mentions DC, the DC, Maryland and Virginia areas have an epidemic of slightly functioning assaulters and street harassers cloaked in Black skin:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5k7tSStyhAI#https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5k7tSStyhAI#

Street/Sexually Harassed at the Panera Bread on Dobbin Road, Columbia, Maryland

One morning at about 9:00 am or so, I decided to go to Panera Bread whose particular location on Dobbin Road in Columbia, Maryland, I usually do not venture to. I had to go to one of the stores in that plaza so I thought I might as well get breakfast too. Sounds simple? Not when a Black ‘Christian’ male STRANGER is stalking you.

I was in my car in the parking lot fiddling around for my shades and my purse when I noticed a Black male driving a grayish sedan pass by and slow down. I initially thought nothing of it because he parked about 5 spaces west of me. Just in case, I took an extra five minutes to ensure he exited his car and was actually out of the parking lot before I left my car.

I then was walking to the entrance of Panera Bread. This location has two attached stores on either side of it and mostly floor to ceiling wide windows as part of its entire storefront. As I stepped closer to the entrance I saw that same Black man staring from inside of the store at me. I turned towards the toward and ignored him.

As I entered, I noticed there was only one cash register open and guess he was chit chatting with the cashier–yes, that same Black male from the parking lot. I ensured I was approximately NINE FEET (9′) behind the Black male. Did not help at ALL. He kept glancing behind him in my direction and I literally turned away. He then continued to stagnate the line as it extended behind me–until another employee open the next register and said to me “May I help you?” At this point, I and the “stranger danger” were both at the order counter but different registers.

Next, is nothing but a Black “Christian” (with ‘Baltimore’ essence emanating from his pores) would do:

This Black “Christian” street/sexual harassing male poked me in my right arm and said to me “You dropped something.” Is there a reason why he had to touch me? Of course not, civilized, normal people just say “excuse me” but oh no, not this simian he just had to invade my personal space. If I was a white woman would he had touched me? No? A covered Arab Sunni Muslim? Yep, you guessed it still a “no.” I knew he was lying because I just got to the counter and hasn’t paid for my transaction yet so I hadn’t opened my purse yet for anything to have fallen out. In order to prevent an automatic violent response from this Black “Christian” predator I looked down and saw a beat up packet of kleenex that looked like it was marinating on the restaurant floor for hours. I quickly stated ‘that’s not mine’ and continued with my order. The cashier, a white female looked at the guy like “go away” instead he berated me for not engaging in unsolicited, unprovoked, unwanted, trying to be inappropriate dialogue. He snapped (though no one said anything further to the Black male suspect) ” ‘Scuse me for trying to be nice.” I ignored him and continued with my order he then started talking to himself–because I had said nothing else. After I pocketed my receipt in my purse, I went to get coffee in which the flavored coffee I wanted had been depleted. I then heard the Black suspect pacing back and forth berating about “nobody want to touch you anyway.” I thought-illogical statement- if you didn’t why did you? I went to the drink bar counter to inform them that one of the coffee containers needed to be replenished. The Black criminal was STILL yelling and mumbling. I stated audibly without turning around, “touch me again, I’m filing charges” as I continued to prepare my coffee. Apparently, my attempt to get a breakfast and to conduct a transaction could not occur without incident in the State of Maryland.

After getting coffee, I went to the counter for pickup orders. The Black All Rights Reserved‘Christian’ criminal was STILL yelling. I thought maybe I should call the police. Panera Bread on Dobbin Road full of white patrons and no one helped–who cares of an innocent Sunni Muslim who is Black is assaulted, accosted or killed by an insure Black Christian criminal. For many, if it had escalated, I have a feeling they would have internally applauded. Howard County is KNOWN for its overt racist attitudes towards Sunni Muslims.

However, there seemed to be one decent white woman who I thought was best to stand beside and was also waiting for her “to go” order.

I began to speak to her about travel and adventures and yes, you guessed the guy was still yelling and when his order finally was ready he asked the food preparer was it his. Then he looked at me and yelled, I want to make sure I don’t TOUCH someone else’s bag and stormed out.

I said to the woman I knew that guy was going to bother me, he kept staring at me as I entered the store. She said “…but it is such a beautiful day…” I thought yes, and these destructive Black “Christian” males are intent on destroying it for decent women who are minding their own business and aren’t interested in them.

Is not this something? HE is upset because I made it obvious that he should have NEVER put his hands on me.

Decent ladies, in broad daylight, in a suburban restaurant even then you have to be vigilant, listen to your instincts. I thought I did enough offense by waiting in my car before going in. Apparently, that and standing several feet is insufficient to ward them off. Nowadays, you have to act like your own S.W.A.T. team, director of recon., preemptive detective and surveillance of all known perimeters. If only I could create some harassment repellent and bottle it–I would make millions…there has to be some type of hormonal or genetic mutation where certain males are prone to sexual harassment/violent behavior that could be spliced or extracted.

Anyway, I digressed: The reality is that no one will assist or protect you in Maryland if you are a women of color.

Black ‘Christian’ males: A word to the wise, you should assume a Sunni Muslim Black American woman is not interested in you just as you assume that Arab, Persian and Indian Muslims are NOT interested in you. Your skin color does not provide some esoteric, anthropological exemption to our religious beliefs that we actually do practice everyday. You set yourself up for disappointment and with your inability to conduct yourself like a civilized human being in modern society you will likely set yourself up for imprisonment due to your violent and/or hysterical inability to accept the rejection you already know is imminent.

I think, just not for myself but for also those readers who are survivors of street harassment and accosting to make sure you get license plates, descriptions of cars, race, markings (like tattoos and moles) and locations. Tell your stories, let the world know how Black “Christian” male predators truly conduct themselves on a daily basis, how many women of color are not helped or protected in this so called free and democratic society; let their mothers, daughters, nieces, friends and wives know how they act in public towards innocent, decent women who are total STRANGERS. Expose these Black “Christian” criminals for the social demons they truly are. Most importantly, be safe and be careful.
*A Sunni Muslim Black American Woman

…at the Royal Farms off Rte 175, Howard County, Maryland

One morning I was waiting for my breakfast order at Royal Farms off of Route 175, Howard County, Maryland. I walked over to the far end of the hot food counter to get some napkins. Afterwards, I remained standing to the right of the computer food order kiosks. When I looked up, I noticed one of the food preparers looking at the store space behind me. Something told me to turn around when I saw a black “Christian” male quickly headed towards me and was about to grab me. But once he saw me turn around he stopped whatever he had intended to do and walked to another part of the store. If I had not noticed the food preparer in a sense watching over me, I would have been accosted by this black male. I cannot even get a breakfast sandwich in a suburb without a black male plotting to assault me.

Huffington Post article: When Black Women Die From Street Harassment

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6014092
WHEN BLACK WOMEN DIE FROM STREET HARASSMENT
Who cries when black women die?
October 20, 2014

I’m not asking that as some type of rhetorical, poetic question, meant to move you toward ferocious finger snaps. I want to know. Who cries when black women die?

Further, who cries when black women are killed?

Mary Spears was killed. The man who killed her did so because she refused to give him her phone number. She told him “I have a man I can’t talk to you,” and yet he persisted. Rather than respect her wishes to be left alone, he shot her.

Who cries when black women die from street harassment? 

I really do need an answer. Because Mary Spears’s right to move about freely in the world was denied to her, her life taken from her, and there are no marches. No one has broken out the bullhorns or their comfortable sneakers. There are no widespread calls to protect the autonomy of black women and their bodies. The community leaders haven’t deemed this unacceptable and a fate no one should ever face simply because they reject a man’s advances.

No, when black women die from that toxic mix of violent misogyny, male entitlement, and hypermasculine posturing, there is no movement to be born. There are condolences to be offered and “unfortunate”s to be uttered, but no tears to be cried. There is no anger that propels action.

You’ve read this piece before. You’ve read it a dozen times over. I’ve written it before. I could have written it a dozen times over. It’s the piece where someone complains about how little outrage there is surrounding something which deeply affects them, and then the reader is left to wonder, “Well, if it means that much to you, what are YOU doing about it?” You may have written that piece before. And we keep writing them because I don’t think any of us are quite sure what to do.

Where black women are concerned, we aren’t just talking about mounting the evils of misogyny, or even racism. We compete with the sacrifices black women make for their community.

I understand that there’s an impulse to not make black men the faces of street harassment, given all of the ideas that already exist around black male hypersexuality, as well as the disproportionate amount of police violence that black men face as the result of the constant criminalization of behaviors associated with black men. But black women have been allowed to suffer too much for the protection of black men. They have paid with their lives.

And here I am, writing another blog post wondering why no one seems to care.

Street harassment is vile. It makes women feel unsafe in public. But when black women die because we have failed to teach boys and men to keep their thoughts and hands to themselves, that they are not entitled to the sexual attention of any and every woman, or that their attempts at proving their masculinity through verbal and physical assaults on women are failures, the concern fades before it has a chance to actually surface. Black women are expected to keep sacrificing.

Who cries when black women die? Nobody. No damn body.

Mychal Denzel Smith is a Knobler Fellow at The Nation Institute.