Tag Archive | broad daylight

12 Moms Share Gross Stories Of Getting Catcalled While With Their Kids

A couple of months ago I posted a photo art representation of the different types of women who have and are catcalled by predatory black males.  These are athletic, religious clad, pregnant, women with children, professional women to name a few.  It was the traditional argument that men were to protect women, but America has regressed in which the average American woman needs protection FROM certain males, i.e. the predatory vagrants.

There was a recent news article published in the Huffington Post regarding street harassment in which mothers share their stories of being street harassed while out in public with their children:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/12-moms-share-gross-stories-of-getting-catcalled-while-with-their-kids_us_59414a7ce4b003d5948c8270

06/15/2017 04:34 pm ET

12 Moms Share Gross Stories Of Getting Catcalled While With Their Kids

“Did you know your mother’s hot?”

Juanmonino via Getty Images
I was totally unaware being catcalled while with your children is so incredibly common.

I was once catcalled while wearing my son in a baby carrier. I guess the presumed presence of my body underneath the baby strapped to my torso was apparently good enough for the guy who shouted at me as I was on the way to daycare one day.

Another time, my harasser used my son as the middle man, directing his “You’ve got a beautiful Mommy, you know that?” to the stroller I pushed in front of me. “NO!” I thought but didn’t say because I tend to avoid the uncertainty of conflict in these situations. “You don’t get to use my son to catcall me!”

We’re entering summer, which for many women and non-binary people is when street harassment escalates. It’s always unpleasant, but it may be even more unpleasant and jarring when it happens in the company of your children.

I didn’t know this was a common experience until I started asking. Just as every woman I know has a story of some guy harassing her, so do many mothers had a story of being harassed while out with their children. Some of them are almost amusing in their sheer nerve, some are shudder-inducing, and they unanimously make you want to say, “Ugh.”

Below, 12 women speak out on what the experience is like.

1. “He suggested to the kids that mommy should give him her number.”

I had a guy follow my children and I into the parking lot of a grocery store telling me how beautiful I was and asking for my number. He suggested to the kids that mommy should give him her number. I considered backing up over him with my car. ― Jamie Lechner

2. “What a cutie! And the baby’s not too bad either!”

I was carrying my 9-month-old through the parking lot of a department store to my car and a man was staring at us for an uncomfortably long amount of time, enough to make me pick up my pace and avoid eye contact. Then he yelled, “What a cutie! And the baby’s not too bad either!” He thought he was so funny. Ugh. ― Brie Riley

3. “I want my daughters to know that they can speak up for themselves and that it is not OK with me for strangers to comment on my body.”

Summers are always the worst for catcalling but it gets even worse when my kids are in tow. Men feel they can comment on my tattoos whenever they feel like it and when it does happen, I ignore them or tell them to stop speaking to me. It’s important to do this in front of my daughters because I do not want them growing up feeling like they can be objectified.

I want my daughters to know that they can speak up for themselves and that it is not OK with me for strangers to comment on my body. Hopefully it rubs off on them. ― Jennifer Clark

4. “I have been catcalled at 7 months pregnant.”

If it counts, I have been catcalled at 7 months pregnant (and VERY visibly so, I was wearing a dress which proudly showed the bump!). I was most confused ― did the man saying “Hey sexy mama” and making crude gestures think I was going to haul my large pregnant self into his white van and have sex with him?! ― Ayesha Jeary

5. “I can be his daddy.”

A few years ago, I was walking with my 2-year-old son when a man walked up to us and leered, “I can be his daddy.” We ducked into a restaurant. Thankfully, he was too little to notice. I just ignored the man. Nowadays, we have an open dialogue about how we treat girls and women. ― Sara Heistand

6. “He was so confused as to why mommy went from cheerful to fearful in seconds.”

I was leaving a large retail store at the anchor end of a mall with my son. We were laughing and I was swinging my bags in one hand and holding his with the other while he skipped, as we crossed the lane and into the parking lot. It was dusk and I hear a man whistle and shout. I was so used to it that I automatically stiffened up and picked up my pace, without acknowledging it. I was practically dragging my son by the time the man caught up to us and started asking to “be friends” and saying how “handsome” my son is.

I moved away briskly and he picked up his own pace and asked if I “wanted company this weekend.” I was almost running now so he stopped and then proceeded to shout “Ugly, b*tch, high on yourself” at my back, followed by more name-calling and slurs. I covered my son’s ears and jumped in the car. He was so confused as to why mommy went from cheerful to fearful in seconds and the vibe of our fun, late afternoon had totally changed.

I waited for 10 minutes before getting back out of my SUV to get my son situated in his car seat; he was only 3 1/2 at the time. (There are more instances but that one stuck out in my memory most because it was the most frightened I ever was with my son present.) ― Kasandra Powell

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7. “And that, my fellow feminists, is how you sexualize a fetus.”

When I was pregnant with my first child, a random stranger told me that if the baby was a boy he’s be a lucky little sod sucking on those tits. And that, my fellow feminists, is how you sexualize a fetus. ― Nesta May

8. “I wear my daughter all around our hood and stay getting hit on.”

I wear my daughter all around our hood and get hit on. My husband thinks dudes don’t realize I have a baby in there and one guy actually told me that. But I don’t buy it. What the hell else would be in this OBVIOUS baby carrier? A bowling ball?

And pregnancy catcalls were also a thing but thinly veiled as “compliments” like “Oh you look good girl” and “Wish I was the daddy.” I walked to work until the end and got not shortage of street harassment. ― Helena Andrews-Dyer

9. “You just had to have it, didn’t you?”

I was pushing my twins in a stroller when they were about 18 months old when an older man leered at us and said “You just had to have it, didn’t you?” I had no idea what he was talking about and said “What?” He replied, “Oh the thing that gets you two babies born so close together,” and then winked at me.

They are boy/girl twins and don’t look much alike so he probably thought I had gotten pregnant again very soon after giving birth to the first. Either way, I was really grossed out and mumbled something about them being twins and got the hell out of there.  ― Kelly Wilson Bossley

10. “It just feels particularly unkind.”

I’ve gotten pregnant catcalled and every time I’m just like WHAT??! I give them a look or say something to the effect of “Are you fucking serious?” I mean, I guess it’s no more or less offensive than regular catcalling ― pregnant bodies are beautiful and it can look sexy I guess. It just feels particularly unkind. ― Melissa Petro

11. “Did you know your mother’s hot?”

The worst was once when we were waiting for the subway and some dude leered at me and then said to my kid, “Did you know your mother’s hot?”

I just ignored him because I’m always scared about escalating stuff. Later when my son asked me about it I just said, “We live in a really messed up culture that thinks women’s bodies are public property.” ― Anne Thériault

12. “I feel so uneasy when I’m catcalled while with my kids.”

I was once catcalled on my way to the pool with my two young daughters. The man was driving while I was walking. I ignored him and turned left onto a one-way street. He drove in reverse down the one-way street still catcalling to me and trying to get me to give him my number. My daughters were 2 and 4 at the time. This was in NYC. I was terrified!

Even for a NYC street, there was no one else around. I thought he was going to kidnap us. My daughters didn’t ask me anything and I didn’t tell them anything either. They don’t remember thankfully.

However, I feel so uneasy when I’m catcalled while with my kids. Almost like the only reason they’re catcalling me is because I have children. Almost like I’m an easy target or prey. Maybe I’m overthinking it but it feels like it’s my kids some of these men are after. ― Doris Villegasfor clarity.

A late morning at a D.C. Metro Station

One day in the late morning I was using the D.C. metro. I was either at Metro Center or Gallery Place Chinatown where there is a convergence of transfer points for various lines. I was descending down the escalator to get to the platform and noticed two major things:
1) there were a  few major brown post structure in the center like most stations have.
2) A dark-skinned African “Christian” male was already staring at me from the platform as I was at the top of the descent.

I knew he was directing his unwanted attention at me because I was the only one on the escalator.  As a preventative measure, though it was daylight, I made the conscious decision to go right when I stepped off the platform.  This way the first post I see could be an initial barrier.  To no avail he started walking suddenly in the same direction towards me. I then walked left to get away from him an intentionally positioned myself amongst several people–all Black who pretended they did not see anything.

wmata-metro-mapA short Asian Muslim  woman also in hijab was walking past along the platform and NO ONE said any thing to her. She smiled and greeted me and for a small moment I thought that was the end of the crazy man’s exploit. After she was on her way, the African “Christian” male began to extend his arm to towards me to try and touch me and stated “I want talk to you.” I  immediately moved several spaces down. He began walking towards me again just as my train arrived. Lucky for me, it was the ONLY thing that protected me, the metro employees did nothing and neither did all the black “Christians” standing on the platform except look down and act as if they did not see anything awry.

Disgusting hypocrites.  So there you have it, ALL Black American women (Sunni Muslim, Buddhist, atheist, professional, college students, etc.)are viewed by men of color as trash to be dumped on.

Interesting Post: Street Harassment Stops When Men Say it Stops

http://nicoleclarkconsulting.com/street-harassment-stop-when-men-say-it-stops/

Here is the text of her post:

The SlutWalk movement has taken over the world (or at least many major cities such as New York City, Toronto, Denver, and even in Delhi, India) and many believe that it has become one of the most successful feminist actions in the last 20 years. For those of you that haven’t heard of the movement, the first SlutWalk happened in April 2011 in Toronto, Canada after Canadian Constable Michael Sanguinetti, during a January 2011 York University campus safety forum stated that in order for women to be more safe, they should “avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”

For many women of color (myself included) the term “slut” doesn’t really conjure up the same type of emotions as perhaps “bitch” or “hoe”, but regardless of whatever term is used, the premise is still the same: we are living in a society that tells women that not only are we the weaker sex, but that we are responsible for making sure that men don’t attack, assault, harass, stalk or rape us. That’s a pretty tall order.

SlutWalk may be the “it” thing right now, but there has been an anti-street harassment movement brewing over the last several years. From The Line Campaign to Hollaback!, women are proclaiming that it’s time for men to really take a step back and realize the behaviors that they and their peers are participating in. Yet the sad thing about it is that women shouldn’t even be the ones leading this effort. How many women do you know stand on corners and stare at and try to speak to every man that walks by? How many women do you know will tell a man that if he weren’t outside at a certain time of night/weren’t wearing certain types of clothing/weren’t drunk/weren’t trying to flirt that it’s his fault for whatever happens to him? No, I don’t think it’s women’s responsibility to tell men that this type of behavior is inappropriate. No, I don’t think that women should live in fear or in annoyance when they see a group of men standing on the corner. And no, I don’t think women should be the main ones marching by the thousands to tell men just how ridiculous their logic is for thinking that a woman deserves to be sexually assaulted or called out her name due to what she’s wearing or how she turns down a man’s advances. Street harassment and all violence against women will stop once men decide to stand up and declare that it stops.

*Where is my soap box?*

I first experienced street harassment during my freshman year of college. My friends and I would walk to the train station or to the grocery store. We would hear voices from strangers that we would pass on the sidewalk, or we’d hear voices from cars that have suddenly slowed their pace. I remember us ignoring the voices mostly, but when it got to the point where these voices would begin following us, we all would be uncomfortable. And oftentimes the silent stares were more uncomfortable than the comments. Even in the warmer months I would try to get away with wearing tops with long sleeves or carry my school bag in a way that would hide my buttocks. At that time, I didn’t know that the term “street harassment” even existed. I just knew the feeling I had, and it wasn’t good. I used to hate walking to the nearby shopping area or the train station out of fear of someone speaking to me inappropriately. Yet, as I went through college I went from feeling embarrassed to feeling apathetic. I once thought that this problem was only within the confines of the surrounding area of my campus, but obviously I was wrong. I’m nearing age 30, and at times I still resort to these “prevention methods”, and have now graduated to wearing earbuds to blast music and drown out the catcalls.

Street harassment comes in a variety of forms: catcalling, groping, sexually explicit comments, someone honking their horn at you as you walk down the street (and it’s not to ask for directions), grabbing your arm with no indication that you even wanted to be touched, whistling, someone telling you what they would do to you sexually if you were alone, and even someone leaning into you and saying “hello beautiful” as you walk down by (because it is, in fact, getting into your personal space.)

Many women and girls are harassed daily, and many feel helpless to stop it. In an attempt to prevent street harassment from happening, we begin to limit the amount of time we spend outside or we make sure that we’re not out at certain times of night. We begin to wear baggy or unflattering clothing. But these acts don’t deter individuals from harassing us. Street harassment can lead to violence, and it doesn’t matter what race or ethnicity you are. Many of us do not do anything about street harassment because we’re afraid that we’ll be placed in harm’s way. And that’s the rub. You never know how a man is going to react once you make the decision to put him in his place. Which it why I understand the purpose of movements like SlutWalk. Thousands of women (and many male supporters) coming together to let these men know that this type of behavior will not be tolerated anymore seems more powerful and doesn’t really place a woman in harm’s way compared to going at it alone.

Now that we know what street harassment is, let’s discuss what street harassment prevention is not:

Street harassment prevention is not about women taking self defense classes. My college’s public safety department held a self-defense class during freshman orientation week, and after the class we received a whistle. The whistle was for using against someone if we felt that we were unsafe. The students on my campus were the only ones with these whistles, and I never knew of any student who actually used their whistle. On top of that, the whistles were a joke throughout the university center. This isn’t to demean the purpose of taking self-defense classes because there are people who feel that they are necessary. However, instead of bringing women in to take self defense classes and have mace and whistles at our disposal, perhaps we should create more programs that help men to recognize street harassment and to find ways to help change their behaviors.

Street harassment prevention is not about letting men duck responsibility. The “boys will be boys” mentality has to stop. By not speaking out about street harassment (in whichever way you choose) we’re telling men that they aren’t responsible for their actions and aren’t capable of controlling themselves. If I were a man, I would be very offended by this. And if you watch this video about boys being microwaves and girls being crockpots, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

Street harassment prevention is not about women solely being responsible for speaking up. A man who watches his friend street harass someone and doesn’t say anything is no different from the actual harasser. I’ve seen plenty of incidences where a group of men would stand idly by with blank expressions on their faces while one of them disrespects a woman passing by. I’ve heard men say that they’ve been afraid to say anything, even though they know it’s wrong. Would these same men be afraid to speak up if the woman being harassed was their mother or sister? If a man feels afraid to speak up for what he knows is right (i.e., telling his friend that he needs to check his behavior), that says a lot about the type of person a man chooses to surround himself with…and it says a lot about him. This actually makes me feel sorry for younger men who participate in street harassment. Along with the media’s influence, where else are they learning this behavior? Who else? Their older counterparts.

Street harassment prevention is not about what a woman is wearing. If it were really about clothing, women in the Middle East who are walking around completely covered up in broad daylight wouldn’t be getting assaulted or harassed.

Street harassment is deeply ingrained in communities of color, which is why many don’t see it as a problem. Street harassment will continue to prevail until men stand up and decide that this behavior needs to stop. We need to teach young men how to treat a woman with respect. We need to teach young men that what they’re listening to, reading, and watching on television may not be how a woman expects to be treated. We need to teach young men that it’s OK to tell their older counterparts that how they behave towards women is unacceptable. Street harassment will continue to also prevail because, unfortunately, there are women who respond to it. Along with men standing up and taking responsibility, we need to teach ourselves and our young women that we are more than just entities that should be hollered at on the street. We need to teach young women that it should require a little more creativity for a man to get our attention. And honking a car horn shouldn’t be one of them.

Street harassment, physical violence, and sexual violence against women won’t stop because we as women want it to stop. It stops when men decide that it stops.

*hops off soapbox*

END OF HER POST


My reminder: Like I said 98% of street harassers are black males, the first step in solving a problem is admitting that there is one. In the State of Maryland, Black “Christian” males are the problem. They are domestic terrorists in more ways than one and the Black woman is the proverbial and literal carnage.

 

Three Characteristics of Black Male Street Harassers

In the State of Maryland, especially in counties such as Howard, Prince George’s Anne Arundel and Baltimore County (and of course Baltimore City) there are three distinguishable traits that any decent woman can discern from the typical black male street harasser.  They are quite reminiscent of what normal functioning, intelligent children are taught and grasp the concept of basic respect of human beings who may cross their paths in normal everyday settings.

1) The black male street harassers a/k/a apes in heat have nothing “nice” or proper to say to their intended targets. [If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all].  They are flustered and frustrated and because of the lack of intelligence they are dumbfounded as to why a decent woman not only rejects their inappropriate (and criminal) behavior but is simply disgusted and repelled by it as well.  No worries, the black male street harasser will pursue his own form of self therapy by designating decent women who reject them as “crazy,” “stuck up,” and “she ain’t right.” Yes, to these social vultures a decent woman who demands to be treated with respect and not have unattractive, disrespectful, ghetto black boys further disrupt her personal space or her day is dismissively deemed by them is not right. PSA to black male street harassers: You are not right! You disrespect religious women, decent women (regardless of belief system) and women who mind their business.  You cannot handle rejection because you are constantly coddled by your Black “Christian’ mother who sees you as either her free ride ticket ala welfare or her mate replacement due to single motherhood.

Therefore, your only line of attack is to insult, in the more ways than one. You see putting your hands on a TOTAL STRANGER is beyond an insult, it is criminal. Verbally abusing a woman because she has ABSOLUTELY no interest in your kind is an insult. The world does not revolve around you. Decent women of color should not have to tolerate your abuse, sexual harassment and sexual assault just because you think “she’s cute.” You are disgusting and reptilian and you deserve every form of disdain society has to offer.  Yet, you have the unintelligent and misinformed audacity to insult decent, innocent women who know better than to tolerate your ignorance, foolishness and crimes.   Get over yourself and stay out of our faces:  especially the ugly, dark-skinned, uneducated, uncivilized black males in Howard County and Prince George’s County, Maryland.  You are the reason white flight is rampant. Please also note that 98% today’s dark-skinned black male “Christians” who street harass.

2) They have an INABILITY to keep their hands to themselves.  [Keep your hands to yourself].  There are subtle, not so subtle and extreme behaviors on this criminal spectrum.  The first is to pretend to “brush” by their intended victims.  Yes, black males at Howard County Library on Cradlerock Road, Columbia, Maryland including the old black male librarian with the greying beard is guilty of this.  Of course they only do this to black female patrons.  They will also do this at grocery stores, box stores, restaurants, any place there is a female and a black male she will likely be a victim.  Of course there is the most obvious, trying to touch you:  standing too close behind you in the line as they prepare to “dry” rape you. Reaching out to GRAB a woman’s arm or hand while she uses a computer or walking on a public sidewalk.  The most obvious is the grope; this touching is distinguishable from the just mentioned one as this is geared towards a woman’s private parts (including that which lies below her décolletage).  Black males today (this is particularly acute among the dark-skinned ones) are generally black devils.  They are in a constant wicked mode of sniffing, plotting and trying to “slide up next to” a TOTAL stranger in order to street harass and rape his intended female target.  Black males in Maryland are naturally uncouthe, sinister, disrespectful, annoying, social rapists who try to play the victim card (as a black male) when in reality they are the criminals, the perpetrators and predators let loose on decent society where no woman is safe. Broad daylight, makes no difference, it just emboldens them as civil society remain in shock that they are allowed to roam the streets without repurcussion for their actions.  Make sure that there are consequences and file charges for EVERY offense these black predators do. Street harassment, sexual assault, verbal harassment, stalking, are all not only immnoral (of course they are not bound by a center of ethos) but it is ILLEGAL.  Make them pay until they can no longer be amongst civilized society.

3) Black “Christian” males in today’s Maryland like to buck their eyes and attempt to intimidate and make women feel uncomfortable when they are in your presence. [It’s not polite to stare]. There is a saying that the eyes are the window into one’s soul.  It is can be an intimate exchange or an invasive tactic.  The purpose of this black male tactic is to make a women feel vulnerable. These bug eyes dark skinned black males use your moment of feeling uncomfortable or intimidated as the prime opportunity to pounce on a woman’s natural fear of them.  Black males respect no women in Maryland, they may be hesitant towards white women only because white males will lynch them, but they still don’t respect them.  Women in the eyes of the majority of ugly, dark-skinned black males are the object to be abused, conquered and destroyed for their Satanic jollies and thumb about their hateful and disrespectful exploits on their technological devices.

It would be easy to say to simply ignore it, but this is today’s dark-skinned black males. They will literally jump in your face, get loud and speak to a total stranger with inappropriate familiarity in order to disrespect you because they hate themselves. Notice that these societal rejects and low brow Negroes RARERLY if ever do this to white women. Black males have no compunction about disrespecting Black women, doesn’t matter if you are Catholic, Baptist, a covered Muslim, black males hate that from which they came and believe that because of the mistaken coddling that their black mothers poorly indoctrinated into them, black woman who are total strangers owe the same to them. When you do not you will be erroneously and heartlessly accused of “thinking that you’re white” when all you are doing is being a decent woman.  Black male street harassers live their lives as low-life animals and realize that animals belong with animals and thus they are faced with the reality of their own lack of humanity.

Black man get out of my face, stop being disrespectful and most of all: Black man leave me alone.

Her Name Was Janese Talton-Jackson and She Was Killed Because She Said No

This article appeared recently (yesterday) regarding a Black woman refusing a blaGunck male “Christians” sexual advancement and harassment.  Her only crime, she said “no” to a black male STRANGER who would have only end up raping her.  In America, especially the Mid-Atlantic region and certain parts of the South, black male “Christian” strangers are notorious for harassing every and any type of woman: pretty, educated, poised, ghetto, religious, atheist, Jew, Sunni Muslim, Nun, doesn’t matter if you are covered for religious reasons, indicate that you have no interest in being sexually harassed and accosted by a black man, they will bother you EVERYDAY.  This is especially true in the State of Maryland, Washington, D.C. and Virginia and states with a enclave of urban areas.  This goes beyond sexual harassment, she was murdered for having some class.  Like I said before the majority of black American “Christian” men believe Black women and women of color are property–especially women who are total strangers.Here is the article:

Her Name Was Janese Talton-Jackson and She Was Killed Because She Said No http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2016/01/her_name_was_janese_talton_jackson_and_she_was_killed_because_she_said_no.html

I did not know Janese Talton-Jackson on a personal level. There’s a chance I might have seen her before. And a lesser chance I might have spoken to her. But if I did either, I don’t remember.

But after news of her death began to circulate on Facebook on Friday afternoon, and more and more people spoke of her, I learned that there weren’t many degrees of separation between us. Practically none, actually.

She left behind three children. Twin girls and a 1-year-old son. The father of her daughters is the son of my mom’s best friend, Ms. Debbie. She also lived in a house owned by Ms. Debbie—a house right next door to my dad’s house. They’re separated by two driveways and a line of hedges. My dad was devastated by the news. And if that’s not enough of a connection already, Janese’s brother happens to be Pennsylvania state Rep. Ed Gainey, a man I’ve known for 25 years.

I first became acquainted with Ed through basketball. When my dad would take the 9-year-old me to the courts behind Peabody High School to work on my game, Ed was one of the older teens and early-20-somethings who’d often be there, too. Some days, after I was done drilling, my dad would play with them and I’d watch them play. Then, as I got older and better, I’d play with them too. Today Ed is a popular politician and a friend. And now, as of early Friday morning, brother to a murdered sister: a woman shot and killed in the street by a man because she said no.

According to the police report, Janese was at Cliff’s Bar, located in Pittsburgh’s Homewood neighborhood. As the bar neared closing, she was approached by Charles Anthony McKinney, who apparently was interested in her. The interest wasn’t reciprocated, and she left. McKinney allegedly followed her outside, was rebuffed again and then shot her in the chest. She was declared dead at the scene. She was 29.

As I write this, my 2-month-old daughter is 10 feet away in one of her bassinets, fussing. I’ve had to pause from writing twice in the last half hour to check on her. To see if she’s making noise because she’s hungry or cold or hot or wet. But, as I suspected, it’s none of the above. She just wants to be played with, and she’s fussing because she’s bored. So I oblige, stopping every 15 minutes or so to pick her up and make faces at her.

While doing this a moment ago, I noticed that she takes up much more space in her bassinet than she did even a month ago. She will, eventually, outgrow it completely. And then she will learn to walk. And then, years from now, she will leave the house on her own. She will have friends. She will learn to drive. She will go out. And there will be men she is not interested in who will be interested in her. Some might catcall from cars and corners. Some might grab her arm or her waist at the bar. Some might buy her a drink. Some might approach her on the street.

 

Some of these advances will be ignored or unacknowledged. Some met with kind but deliberate body language to convey her lack of interest. And some will even be met with actual words—her actually saying some form of “I’m not interested” out of her actual mouth.

 

But while she can control how she responds to the approach and how she communicates her lack of interest, she cannot control the response to her response. She will have no idea if the guy she says no to will cuss her out. Or spit in her face. (Which happened to my wife before.) Or follow her five blocks to her apartment. (Which has happened to a friend before.) Or follow her outside the bar, ask again, get rejected again and kill her. Which happened to Janese Talton-Jackson.

 

That the world is a specifically dangerous one for women and girls isn’t some grand epiphany I just recently had in having a daughter. I’ve read (and written) enough about it, and I’ve seen enough news about it. I’ve also heard enough first- and second- and third-person stories from friends, girlfriends, cousins and homegirls who have either had this type of violence happen to them or know someone who did. I’ve even watched comedy skits about it.

In one of his HBO specials, Louis C.K. jokes that a woman agreeing to go on a date with a man is literally insane. Because, he continues, we (men) are the No. 1 threat to women’s lives. (Men’s biggest threat? Heart disease.) But the continued existence of our species depends on men approaching women, and women eventually saying, “Yes, I will agree to meet you somewhere of your choosing while alone and at night. Even though, statistically, you’re my No. 1 threat.” Which, he also jokes, is like a man having to date nothing but half-bears/half-lions and hoping that nothing bad happens.

But having a daughter (and a wife) introduces another element to my relationship to this danger. Not empathy—that already existed—but fear. Of course, not every boy and man interested in my daughter will express this interest or respond to her disinterest aggressively, disrespectfully or violently. The vast majority will not. But there is no way of removing those who will from her interactions, no way of avoiding them completely, and that scares the f–k out of me. As I’m sure it scares the f–k out of my wife. And as I’m sure it scares the f–k out of the women who also happened to be at Cliff’s Bar that night.

Janese Talton-Jackson is dead because a man was interested in her. And then killed her when that interest wasn’t reciprocated. But she could have been any woman he happened to be interested in that night. The only thing separating her from the women who made it home alive Friday is chance. Sheer luck.

And this, again, is f–king scary. Not just because of how frequently this happens, but also because I know there will be people—men and women—who will hear about this murder and will immediately think, “Well, she must have said something disrespectful” or “She didn’t have to embarrass him by saying no. Just give him a fake number” or “How was she dressed?” or “What was she even doing out that late in Homewood?” As if this—men responding to disinterest with violence—weren’t epidemic. As if any of this were her fault. And as if “What could she have done to prevent this?” matters at all, and “What can and should men do to stop men from doing this?”—which, ultimately, is the only relevant question here—doesn’t.

I did not know this young woman. But I know several people well who knew her well. None of that really matters, though. Who she knew, who knew her; how she could have been my sister, my daughter, my friend, my wife—those are red herrings. What matters is that she existed. She was alive. She was somebody. And now she’s gone, because she said no.

——————

BLACK MAN LEAVE US ALONE

He should have been also charged with a hate crime as his wreckless disregard for human life was aimed at a woman (gender).  Unfortunately, this will not be the last time a Black woman dies because she chose to preserve her dignity over being street/sexually harassed by a black male stranger-predator.

News Article: College Student’s Death Might Be Tied To Street Harassment

Like I said, in today’s America, the best thing a conscious woman can do today is avoid the majority of black males.  I read the original story on another news outlet and arrived at the same conclusion: another woman dies because she rejected a black male’s advances.  When street harassment ends in death.

http://www.refinery29.com/2016/01/100660/college-student-shot-new-years-eve-texas

Eric Jamal Johnson, a U.S. Marine, has been arrested for the murder of Sara Mutschlechner, a 20-year-old who was shot and killed in Denton, Texas, as she drove friends home in the early hours of New Year’s Day. With Johnson’s arrest come details of that night that suggest Mutschlechner’s death came after street harassment escalated to violence.

Denton police spokesman Shane Kizer told CNN that there was an exchange between Mutschlechner and her car’s three passengers and a car carrying five or six men. “It was an amicable conversation to begin with, but quickly went downhill and some derogatory statements were made toward the female occupants of that vehicle,” Kizer said. “Some comments were made back towards him, even a couple of threats were thrown. About that time, they were driving through the intersection…when several shots were fired.”

Mutschlechner, who was hit in the head by a bullet, died later that day at a local hospital. Kizer described the passengers who were in the car with Johnson when it fled the scene as “persons of interest.”

Emily May, executive director of anti-harassment nonprofit Hollaback!, told us, “Street harassment is on a spectrum of gender-based violence. When street harassment is okay, it makes groping okay. And when groping is okay, it makes assault okay. And when assault is okay, it makes murder okay. To make sure what happened to Sara doesn’t happen to anyone else, we need to stop this cycle where it starts.”

 

Street/Sexually Harassed at the Panera Bread on Dobbin Road, Columbia, Maryland

One morning at about 9:00 am or so, I decided to go to Panera Bread whose particular location on Dobbin Road in Columbia, Maryland, I usually do not venture to. I had to go to one of the stores in that plaza so I thought I might as well get breakfast too. Sounds simple? Not when a Black ‘Christian’ male STRANGER is stalking you.

I was in my car in the parking lot fiddling around for my shades and my purse when I noticed a Black male driving a grayish sedan pass by and slow down. I initially thought nothing of it because he parked about 5 spaces west of me. Just in case, I took an extra five minutes to ensure he exited his car and was actually out of the parking lot before I left my car.

I then was walking to the entrance of Panera Bread. This location has two attached stores on either side of it and mostly floor to ceiling wide windows as part of its entire storefront. As I stepped closer to the entrance I saw that same Black man staring from inside of the store at me. I turned towards the toward and ignored him.

As I entered, I noticed there was only one cash register open and guess he was chit chatting with the cashier–yes, that same Black male from the parking lot. I ensured I was approximately NINE FEET (9′) behind the Black male. Did not help at ALL. He kept glancing behind him in my direction and I literally turned away. He then continued to stagnate the line as it extended behind me–until another employee open the next register and said to me “May I help you?” At this point, I and the “stranger danger” were both at the order counter but different registers.

Next, is nothing but a Black “Christian” (with ‘Baltimore’ essence emanating from his pores) would do:

This Black “Christian” street/sexual harassing male poked me in my right arm and said to me “You dropped something.” Is there a reason why he had to touch me? Of course not, civilized, normal people just say “excuse me” but oh no, not this simian he just had to invade my personal space. If I was a white woman would he had touched me? No? A covered Arab Sunni Muslim? Yep, you guessed it still a “no.” I knew he was lying because I just got to the counter and hasn’t paid for my transaction yet so I hadn’t opened my purse yet for anything to have fallen out. In order to prevent an automatic violent response from this Black “Christian” predator I looked down and saw a beat up packet of kleenex that looked like it was marinating on the restaurant floor for hours. I quickly stated ‘that’s not mine’ and continued with my order. The cashier, a white female looked at the guy like “go away” instead he berated me for not engaging in unsolicited, unprovoked, unwanted, trying to be inappropriate dialogue. He snapped (though no one said anything further to the Black male suspect) ” ‘Scuse me for trying to be nice.” I ignored him and continued with my order he then started talking to himself–because I had said nothing else. After I pocketed my receipt in my purse, I went to get coffee in which the flavored coffee I wanted had been depleted. I then heard the Black suspect pacing back and forth berating about “nobody want to touch you anyway.” I thought-illogical statement- if you didn’t why did you? I went to the drink bar counter to inform them that one of the coffee containers needed to be replenished. The Black criminal was STILL yelling and mumbling. I stated audibly without turning around, “touch me again, I’m filing charges” as I continued to prepare my coffee. Apparently, my attempt to get a breakfast and to conduct a transaction could not occur without incident in the State of Maryland.

After getting coffee, I went to the counter for pickup orders. The Black All Rights Reserved‘Christian’ criminal was STILL yelling. I thought maybe I should call the police. Panera Bread on Dobbin Road full of white patrons and no one helped–who cares of an innocent Sunni Muslim who is Black is assaulted, accosted or killed by an insure Black Christian criminal. For many, if it had escalated, I have a feeling they would have internally applauded. Howard County is KNOWN for its overt racist attitudes towards Sunni Muslims.

However, there seemed to be one decent white woman who I thought was best to stand beside and was also waiting for her “to go” order.

I began to speak to her about travel and adventures and yes, you guessed the guy was still yelling and when his order finally was ready he asked the food preparer was it his. Then he looked at me and yelled, I want to make sure I don’t TOUCH someone else’s bag and stormed out.

I said to the woman I knew that guy was going to bother me, he kept staring at me as I entered the store. She said “…but it is such a beautiful day…” I thought yes, and these destructive Black “Christian” males are intent on destroying it for decent women who are minding their own business and aren’t interested in them.

Is not this something? HE is upset because I made it obvious that he should have NEVER put his hands on me.

Decent ladies, in broad daylight, in a suburban restaurant even then you have to be vigilant, listen to your instincts. I thought I did enough offense by waiting in my car before going in. Apparently, that and standing several feet is insufficient to ward them off. Nowadays, you have to act like your own S.W.A.T. team, director of recon., preemptive detective and surveillance of all known perimeters. If only I could create some harassment repellent and bottle it–I would make millions…there has to be some type of hormonal or genetic mutation where certain males are prone to sexual harassment/violent behavior that could be spliced or extracted.

Anyway, I digressed: The reality is that no one will assist or protect you in Maryland if you are a women of color.

Black ‘Christian’ males: A word to the wise, you should assume a Sunni Muslim Black American woman is not interested in you just as you assume that Arab, Persian and Indian Muslims are NOT interested in you. Your skin color does not provide some esoteric, anthropological exemption to our religious beliefs that we actually do practice everyday. You set yourself up for disappointment and with your inability to conduct yourself like a civilized human being in modern society you will likely set yourself up for imprisonment due to your violent and/or hysterical inability to accept the rejection you already know is imminent.

I think, just not for myself but for also those readers who are survivors of street harassment and accosting to make sure you get license plates, descriptions of cars, race, markings (like tattoos and moles) and locations. Tell your stories, let the world know how Black “Christian” male predators truly conduct themselves on a daily basis, how many women of color are not helped or protected in this so called free and democratic society; let their mothers, daughters, nieces, friends and wives know how they act in public towards innocent, decent women who are total STRANGERS. Expose these Black “Christian” criminals for the social demons they truly are. Most importantly, be safe and be careful.
*A Sunni Muslim Black American Woman